Post divorce dating mistakes

There are three aspects of emotional healing that you should address prior to considering dating after divorce. This will help you avoid many other dating mistakes. Many women are influenced by societal norms to think that they are not good enough the way they are.

Here are 6 pitfalls that you must avoid when dating after divorce.

But, dating should be purposeful. This is the place to show your true authentic self so that you can find a guy who will be thrilled to be with you. Avoid this dating mistake by being clear and assertive about what you are after. This exudes confidence and helps you eliminate the guys that are not on the same path as you are.

Men love this anyhow.


This dating mistake can lead to making you feel and possibly come across as desperate. Dating is meant to be fun. Although your goal is to find a life partner, your agenda for a specific date is to have fun, enjoy dinner, and getting to know the person you are meeting. With this approach, you will feel less anxious and you will be able to pick up important information about your date. You will be able to get a better sense of how this particular man relates to you.

This dating mistake can lead you to put all your eggs in a wrong basket. Consider dating as a job interview where you are the interviewer who is selecting the candidates. Think about how many candidates a company interviews for a position. You are selecting a life partner.

I think you get the picture. Committing too early can strip away the joy that comes with initial courtship. Why not allow this process to unfold naturally?

5 Mistakes Women Make When Dating after Divorce | HuffPost Life

Put some brakes on. Allow the men who are courting you prove to you that they are worthy of your heart and commitment. Doing so will allow you to make an informed decision regarding your life time partner. When you allow more time to pass, you will be able to see the guy in potential crises situations and how he reacts to your ups and downs, etc.

After all, you are not seeking to have just any relationship, but you are seeking to find the one that you will be stoked about. Going on dates with this mindset will only turn away good prospects. Remember, the law of attraction?

5 Mistakes Women Make When Dating after Divorce

If you are happy, you are more likely to attract and be attracted to a happy person. Besides, this expectation puts a great deal of burden on another person and it leads to failure. This dating mistake stems from the notion that we need to have an epic initial attraction in order to continue dating someone. You have to remember that you are not 17 anymore. My dad was a lucky guy: He had good genetics that were at play and he worked a job that required him to stay in good physical condition.

Thankfully, I was not privy to this information as a teen! At first, I thought that maybe the extra ten pounds that have taken residency around my body, was the issue, and I was not as attractive as I once was.

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I learned rather quickly that many men over 45 have difficulty performing well as they once did. Overall, this added stress in the bedroom meant I started thinking about long-term health issues like stroke and heart disease and snoring!

C-pap machines are not sexy! And older men are not for me! I often found that friends wanted to fix me up. But that is not the norm. Nevertheless, I went on these dates.

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The first was a widower and I was his first date since his wife had died. Finally, we talked about the loss and decided he was not ready to date. The second date was a handsome man who was successful and kind; the only problem; his voice. The final date was much more interesting: One aspect of divorce that I struggle with almost daily is guilt. I waited until I was 27 and I thought very wise to marry, so I took my divorce as a personal failure—an example of my poor judgment.

It was none of these things. Even though my ex-husband did not turn out to be the man I thought: When I approached dating, I tried earnestly not to choose potential partners out of guilt or insecurity, but out of real admiration and attraction. Many, especially four men I dated, did not do this.

They saw dating as a means of redemption, a do-over, or as a means of finding a mother for their kids. One man flat out told me after our third date, that he always wanted a girlfriend who was blonde with big boobs. Another invited me to meet his kids at Chuckey Cheese on our second date, indicating he wanted to see if they would accept me like a mom-yikes.

A third man, took me to a family wedding, where he repeatedly told everyone that he had traded up. The final time he said this: Further, these guys look healthy and whole. Most likely, they know that moving on is part of the process. They know it is not emotionally healthy to feel isolated and alone. Sadly, they may be stuck in the denial stage of divorce which is the time period that mimics how people experience shock after a traumatic experience. These men appear like they are fine, but on the inside not so much.